Da Taj Code

I recently read somewhere the following as a brief intro to Taj Mahal, the endangered world wonder of India:

“In Agra, we will witness the world famous Taj Mahal built by the Moghul Emperor Shahjehan in 1630. Legend says the tomb was built for his Queen Mumtaz Mahal, who died giving birth to their fourteenth child. The death of Mumtaz left the emperor so heartbroken that his hair is said to have turned grey overnight. Construction of the Taj began in the same year and was not completed until 1653.”

Even as I was reading this, I knew it was not the complete truth. Can mourning really do that to your hair? I was not convinced… so I had to do some - ahem - research and finally I found the blatant truth. The truth, which was never told before.

So here you go with the real story of Taj Mahal:

Shahejahan was a li’l finicky, correction: in fact a finicky to the core, when it came to being prim n proper. It’s said that he took longer than Mumtaj to take bath, and get dressed everyday. Some people say, the reason behind this was that he had employed pretty women who helped him take bath, then do make-up and get dressed, and in the process he ended up undressed more than getting dressed. anyway, that’s besides the point i was trying to make. sorry for deviating from the subject.

He’s said to have executed many of his makeup women, for slightest of mistakes. Like once, one of his hairdresser gave him the Hitler haircut and moustache. He was happy with the cut until Mumtaj saw him in that avatar and she could not help but ROTFL for few hours. This angered Shahejahan so much that he ordered to hang his hairdresser, when she(the hairdresser) asked for mercy - he told her to grow a similar Hitler moustache within a week, else be killed. As you’d understand being a girl she was not able to grow a mush and she was killed a week later. Sigh! If only they had Kaya skin clinics back then!!!!! After that Shahejahan spent two months in exile, to grow his hair and mush and only then he faced Mumtaj and his junta. (This probably explains why the said hair style is not known as Shahejahan haircut, but is named after Hitler - who, as a matter of fact, was born much later).
 
anyway, so when Mumtaj died while giving birth to his 14th child, he was soooo sad … so sad that he even skipped his appointments with his hairstylist for hair coloring, and when he finally came out of his room after few days of mourning, his hair were all gray. Everyone who knew Shahejahan knew immediately that he was really really really heartbroken. So heartbroken that he forgot to color his hair. This, everyone noticed, was an act of a great lover. No man (a king) had loved a woman (among many of them) like this ever before. He truly loved Mumtaj.
 
Some say, that choice of white marble to construct Taj Mahal is also symbolic of gray hair that Shahejahan wore those days.
 
Thus goes the story of Taj Mahal - the symbol of true love.

Tags: Taj Mahal | India |

Chew Tobacco and WIN BIG!

Its World No Tobacco Day today. I had clicked this interesting hand written poster at a pathology lab in Kanpur few days back.

What better day than today to post it up on my blog.

Since the picture quality is not that great, I am going to translate the contents of this Hindi poster in English. It says:

Attractive Prize Scheme
for those who chew tobacco or Pan Masala.

1. First Prize  - Mouth Cancer
2. Second Prize - House of illness
3. Third Prize  - Trip to Hospitals
4. Consolation Prize - Problems in opening mouth.

Place to find application forms: Local Pan shop
Cost of Application Form (Tobacco): Rs. 1 to Rs. 6
Venue for Prize Distribution: Cremation Ground (Bhairaon Ghat, Kanpur)
Chief Guest: Yamaraj- The god of death.
Audience: Us and you
Last Date: From Prize distribution till Terahvi (13th day from Death)

Note: People in waiting list should wait for few more days.

Heheh.. I hope Sarcasm has it’s effect on people. :)

Tags: world no tobacco day | Kanpur |

What does it mean when guy touches girls?

Now, if you are already wondering what the hell is this crappy-sounding post about? then let me give you some perspective. A knowledge thirsty and curious soul living on this very same earth where you and I exist, asked this question to who-else-but-Google, and Google, among many possible answers threw my blog as one of the search results. As luck would have it, this curious soul actually descended on my blog, looking for the answer. I feel so sorry about the fact that my blog might have disappointed him, for it surely does not answer this important question. So this post is an attempt to try and find the answer to this question, the ultimate truth, which if revealed can shake the very basis of humanity.  (ah! common i added that line just for some effect, a la - Da Vinci Code ;-))

I wonder if even the Almighty had thought of this question and its answer in advance, before he created humans. Perhaps this is how it all how must have happened: When Adam, first touched Eve, she shirked him away saying 'What?', and poor Adam didn't have clue as to what his response should be. So he went back to the Almighty, and asked 'Oh! My lord, please tell me what does it mean when a guy touches a girl.' Almighty, who was sitting on top of white clouds, scratched His head for a while then referred to His notes and when He could not understand His own hand writing, He shook his head and started to answer directly in a philosophizing mode. This event was the first ever Live Telecast in the history of human kind. The Almighty kept talking, and Adam listened and grasped every word of this free flow of knowledge.

Now as Adam was only interested in responding confidently to Eve, after he touches her next, so he just listened carefully and did not care about documenting or recording it. So after Adam answered Eve, and she was as expected satisfied, this invaluable knowledge was lost forever.

I am not sure if you realized that there is one major difference in the question Adam asked to the Almighty and the one asked to Google. Adam specifically asked: 'What Happens when a guy (Adam/singular) touches a girl (Eve/singular)?'. However this time around when this curious soul looked for the answer on Google, he had taken into consideration the fact that complexity of the world has increased manyfolds since the time of Adam & Eve. So he asked: 'what does it mean when guy (singular) touches girls (plural)'. So you see the question this time around is much complex.

Those who have studied E.R. Diagrams at some point of time in their school/college would be able to understand that Adam's question was about a One-to-One relationship, however the question posed to Google was One-to-Many. It could have been even more complex had he asked about a Many-to-Many scenario.

Looking at the complexity level of problem, and the fact that I am no match to the Almighty who has already answered this question once - I'll try to break it up in smaller and simpler questions, and that perhaps can help one reach the conclusion.

We are here talking about one guy, touching several girls, and the meaning each touch has. See! It depends on lot of factors, like - why is the guy touching girls, how is he touching them, and also where is he touching them.

'Why' can have several possible answers: out of love, out of lust, out of disgust, out of curiosity, just like that, experiment.

'How' also have many possibilities - in a pleasant way, in an unpleasant way, in a way that irritates, in a way that tickles etc.

'Where' is the most important factor - and whatever the answer to above two questions is, the choice of where can make or break everything.

So you see, if the answer to the above three questions is put together, one can perhaps make out the meaning of a guy touching girl(s). Hope this analysis takes you somewhere close to answer, if you are the one seeking it.

However, without much delay let me add a word of caution, and THIS REALLY IS IMPORTANT: whatever the meaning of a guy touching a girl is, what actually matters is what it means to the girl. And it's really the meaning that the girl derives at that very moment without even going through the analysis I presented above, is what determines the reaction of the girl.

If you are lucky the reaction can be the girl touching you back - in form of a kiss or in form of a slap.

So! There..

Time to move on…

I missed you a lot last night. It does not mean that I don’t miss you otherwise, but last night I missed you a lot more. I was out attending a party last night and had a great time partying, dancing and having a good time dancing with gorgeous girls. Very late in night when I was returning home from the party, my ears still buzzing with high decibel pulsating music, in that lonely moment I suddenly found my self craving for you. And by the time I reached home I needed you badly, even as I knew that you are not there - you are not anywhere.

The fact is that I miss you every moment; I have tried my best to forget you, but the urge to have your presence in my life increases with every passing moment. How can I forget that you were always there for me, no matter what time of day or night, no matter what mood I was in - whether I was in stress or I was in a burning temper - you always had a wonderful cooling effect on me. You preserved good moments for me and that exotic and tempting smell of yours always made me want come closer to you every single time. The ice creams that we shared on various freezing cold nights of December, the chilled drinks we had together on a scorching hot day of June and the amazingly good times we shared together don’t let me forget you.

Why do all good things have to come to an end? Why did you have to leave me alone in this world? I still struggle to find answer to these questions. Though you are not with me anymore, I have preserved you in my thoughts, and you are still a part of my daily life, though not in the same way. I guess the solution is not in forgetting you, but paying tribute to our journey together by staying happy - coz that is what you always wanted me to be.

It’s time to move on. It’s time to buy a new Refrigerator.

Checkout the pics of my old refrigerator and how it’s still a part of my daily life - though not in a same way.
[Click the pictures to enlarge...]

        

Life is Beautiful!

A few days back I changed my apartment, and as usual finding a new apartment was a daunting and boring task. The house search had it’s own adventurous moments and I did not have any new place to shift till two days before my shifting deadline. There were moments when I though that I may even have to live on footpath for a few days..

Even my bachelorhood, which is my most prized and celebrated possession, was questioned and sometimes I felt like being a bachelor is a crime in this country. Yes! there were house owners who were no less than Angels sent by God till the time they did not know that I was a bachelor. As soon as i gave them the news that I am a bachelor and I plan to stay alone in the apartment, their reaction was same as that of a person who has just got up after a steamy ‘unprotected’ one night stand only to discover that their partner was HIV positive.

What I have below are reactions of some of my dear one’s when i told them about the problems i was facing while looking for a new house.

**~~** 

Me to a friend: Dude! let me know if you come to know of any house which i can rent. It’s slightly urgent.
Friend: Hey! wait!! i guess there is a house next to me which is lying vacant. let me get back to you with details, and then we can go over to check out the place, lets try it out.
Me: that’d be so great dude. lemme know.

**~~**

Me to my Dad: I just have one more week left to look for a new house. I donno how’ll i find one so soon given that I am too busy at work as well.
Dad: Don’t worry son everything will be fine. In fact I was thinking that I’ll buy you a apartment in Delhi itself, this way you’ll never have to face this problem again.
Me: Daaaad!!!! :) ….. (and I was speechless)

**~~**

Me to a lovely friend from Jaipur: Y’know I think I am gonna be living on footpath very soon, coz time is running out and i’ve not yet finalized a thing.
Lovely friend from Jaipur: don’t even say that Amit. I am sure you’ll find one. It might sound impractical but if i have my way, I’ll make you stay here at my place for sometime and your office in Gurgaon is hardly 2 hrs drive from Jaipur which is the same time you’ll take to travel from Noida to your office. :)
Me: you are such a sweetheart dear. I’d have loved to do that if that was really possible. but thanks anyway.

**~~**

Me to a new chick in my life: Gosh! I am so pissed off, i’ve spent my entire saturday searching for a new house, but no success.
New chick in my life: Hey sweetie, take it easy. everything will be fine. btw - why don’t you move to my apartment, my flat mate is anyway moving out as she’s taken up a job at Bangalore. If you don’t mind we can live together, and this will give us more time together.
Me: What! You mean!! Are you saying!!! OMG!!!! :D

Isn’t my life beautiful? it truly is, my wonderful readers. But then you need to look at the other (read ‘real’) side of life as well. Read on to know what actually transpired:

**~~**

Me to a friend: Dude! let me know if you come to know of any house which i can rent. It’s slightly urgent.
Friend: Why don’t you go to a property dealer, you should be able to find some house.
Me: That’s a terrific idea, Dude. What would i do if you were not around….. Grrrrr.. ofcourse i have enuf mind to contact a broker you dumbass, what makes you think i’ve not done that already.

**~~**

Me to my Dad: I just have one more week left to look for a new house. I donno how’ll i find one so soon given that I am too busy at work as well.
Dad: Son, why is it that you always wake up at the eleventh hour? when will you be mature enough to take things seriously and plan ahead of time?
Me: Dad! :(  …. (and I was speechless)

**~~**

Me to a lovely friend from Jaipur: Y’know I think I am gonna be living on footpath very soon, coz time is running out and i’ve not yet finalized a thing.
Lovely friend from Jaipur: That’s cool isn’t it. you can as well take up cleaning cars parked on roadside and make some additional money ;-))
Me: You are such a sweetheart dear. I am honored to have a friend as thoughtful as you.  :-|

**~~**

Me to a new chick in my life: Gosh! I am so pissed off, i’ve spent my entire saturday searching for a new house, but no success.
New chick in my life: What? you can’t be serious. I’ve invited some of my old friends for a get together at your place next week, and you are telling me that you won’t have that house with you anymore.
Me: What? You mean?? Are you saying??? OMG???? :((

So now you know, don’t you?

Life is beautiful.