Da Taj Code

I recently read somewhere the following as a brief intro to Taj Mahal, the endangered world wonder of India:

“In Agra, we will witness the world famous Taj Mahal built by the Moghul Emperor Shahjehan in 1630. Legend says the tomb was built for his Queen Mumtaz Mahal, who died giving birth to their fourteenth child. The death of Mumtaz left the emperor so heartbroken that his hair is said to have turned grey overnight. Construction of the Taj began in the same year and was not completed until 1653.”

Even as I was reading this, I knew it was not the complete truth. Can mourning really do that to your hair? I was not convinced… so I had to do some - ahem - research and finally I found the blatant truth. The truth, which was never told before.

So here you go with the real story of Taj Mahal:

Shahejahan was a li’l finicky, correction: in fact a finicky to the core, when it came to being prim n proper. It’s said that he took longer than Mumtaj to take bath, and get dressed everyday. Some people say, the reason behind this was that he had employed pretty women who helped him take bath, then do make-up and get dressed, and in the process he ended up undressed more than getting dressed. anyway, that’s besides the point i was trying to make. sorry for deviating from the subject.

He’s said to have executed many of his makeup women, for slightest of mistakes. Like once, one of his hairdresser gave him the Hitler haircut and moustache. He was happy with the cut until Mumtaj saw him in that avatar and she could not help but ROTFL for few hours. This angered Shahejahan so much that he ordered to hang his hairdresser, when she(the hairdresser) asked for mercy - he told her to grow a similar Hitler moustache within a week, else be killed. As you’d understand being a girl she was not able to grow a mush and she was killed a week later. Sigh! If only they had Kaya skin clinics back then!!!!! After that Shahejahan spent two months in exile, to grow his hair and mush and only then he faced Mumtaj and his junta. (This probably explains why the said hair style is not known as Shahejahan haircut, but is named after Hitler - who, as a matter of fact, was born much later).
 
anyway, so when Mumtaj died while giving birth to his 14th child, he was soooo sad … so sad that he even skipped his appointments with his hairstylist for hair coloring, and when he finally came out of his room after few days of mourning, his hair were all gray. Everyone who knew Shahejahan knew immediately that he was really really really heartbroken. So heartbroken that he forgot to color his hair. This, everyone noticed, was an act of a great lover. No man (a king) had loved a woman (among many of them) like this ever before. He truly loved Mumtaj.
 
Some say, that choice of white marble to construct Taj Mahal is also symbolic of gray hair that Shahejahan wore those days.
 
Thus goes the story of Taj Mahal - the symbol of true love.

Tags: Taj Mahal | India |

Be Safe!

[Source : A forwarded e-mail] 

A wedding and a love story

I have returned from a wedding this morning. In spite of it making my weekend too hectic it has left me with a smile on my face. And the reasons are multiple.

The groom is my cousin, ex-roomie, friend and a wonderfully calm and composed human being. He also gives me tough competition in the laziness department, and in-fact he’s the only person in the world so far who has beat me into it a few times. The fact that he got married to the love of his life, makes me feel happier for him.

Weddings (specially weddings in our family) are a noisy affair, because of the collective craziness of our entire khaandaan. Typically maharashtrian weddings are very simple and lack any kind of show off. It’s only the hysterically loud laughter that our grand family makes, which makes it an interesting affair. This time there was an added zing to the wedding because the Bride comes from an Assamese family, so it was an interesting mixture of Assamese and Marathi wedding. The baraat was received in a Assamese way, with the typical holy sounds they make from mouth. Not surprisingly very soon our entire family was found practicing to make that sound. Minutes later when the bride and groom were on the stage for wedding rituals, the groom wore the conical Assamese topi while the marathi mangalashtaks were being sung.

The event also provided an opportunity to the relatives for filling my mom’s brain with unwanted thoughts. They had some kind of wicked pleasure in poking their elbows in my ribs and asking, ’so when are you gettin married?’ and when i made bad faces, they went on quizzing ‘is there someone?’… AAARRRGGHHHH

but the best moment of shaadi was when a very beautiful cutie with a golu-molu face walked up to to me with hesitation in her beautiful eyes, and after standing in front of me for few mysterious seconds simply said ‘I love you‘.

It was such a lovely moment and it caught me so unprepared that I automatically responded ‘I love you too’. I wasn’t even finished admiring that look in her wide blue eyes, and she just ran away giggling while her other friends who were observing all this from a li’l distance ran behind her. It took me a while to realize that I din’t even know her name. So i went out, bought a chocolate and came back searching for her at the wedding venue. She was there, sitting pretty with her friends, chit chatting. Without giving it a second thought, i jumped right in between their conversation, saying ‘hey! girlfriend, you dint tell me your name?’ Her face changed colors due to the blushing, she said with her eyes buried deep down into the floor, ‘Shivani’.
‘So Shivani,’ i continued, ‘here is a small gift to begin our love story’. I presented her the chocolate bar and moved on to another room, I heard girlie screams by her friends behind my back even as I left. Within few seconds she came in running into the room, screaming with joy, ‘Mommy, see Amit gave me a chocolate because he loves me too.’

I was shocked to realize that her mom was in the same room where I was. I hesitantly looked at her mom, who was already looking at me - our eyes locked each other and then we both laughed. So did everyone else in the room, only my new 10 yr old girlfriend did not understand what the laud laughter was all about.

Innocence.

:-)

What does it mean when guy touches girls?

Now, if you are already wondering what the hell is this crappy-sounding post about? then let me give you some perspective. A knowledge thirsty and curious soul living on this very same earth where you and I exist, asked this question to who-else-but-Google, and Google, among many possible answers threw my blog as one of the search results. As luck would have it, this curious soul actually descended on my blog, looking for the answer. I feel so sorry about the fact that my blog might have disappointed him, for it surely does not answer this important question. So this post is an attempt to try and find the answer to this question, the ultimate truth, which if revealed can shake the very basis of humanity.  (ah! common i added that line just for some effect, a la - Da Vinci Code ;-))

I wonder if even the Almighty had thought of this question and its answer in advance, before he created humans. Perhaps this is how it all how must have happened: When Adam, first touched Eve, she shirked him away saying 'What?', and poor Adam didn't have clue as to what his response should be. So he went back to the Almighty, and asked 'Oh! My lord, please tell me what does it mean when a guy touches a girl.' Almighty, who was sitting on top of white clouds, scratched His head for a while then referred to His notes and when He could not understand His own hand writing, He shook his head and started to answer directly in a philosophizing mode. This event was the first ever Live Telecast in the history of human kind. The Almighty kept talking, and Adam listened and grasped every word of this free flow of knowledge.

Now as Adam was only interested in responding confidently to Eve, after he touches her next, so he just listened carefully and did not care about documenting or recording it. So after Adam answered Eve, and she was as expected satisfied, this invaluable knowledge was lost forever.

I am not sure if you realized that there is one major difference in the question Adam asked to the Almighty and the one asked to Google. Adam specifically asked: 'What Happens when a guy (Adam/singular) touches a girl (Eve/singular)?'. However this time around when this curious soul looked for the answer on Google, he had taken into consideration the fact that complexity of the world has increased manyfolds since the time of Adam & Eve. So he asked: 'what does it mean when guy (singular) touches girls (plural)'. So you see the question this time around is much complex.

Those who have studied E.R. Diagrams at some point of time in their school/college would be able to understand that Adam's question was about a One-to-One relationship, however the question posed to Google was One-to-Many. It could have been even more complex had he asked about a Many-to-Many scenario.

Looking at the complexity level of problem, and the fact that I am no match to the Almighty who has already answered this question once - I'll try to break it up in smaller and simpler questions, and that perhaps can help one reach the conclusion.

We are here talking about one guy, touching several girls, and the meaning each touch has. See! It depends on lot of factors, like - why is the guy touching girls, how is he touching them, and also where is he touching them.

'Why' can have several possible answers: out of love, out of lust, out of disgust, out of curiosity, just like that, experiment.

'How' also have many possibilities - in a pleasant way, in an unpleasant way, in a way that irritates, in a way that tickles etc.

'Where' is the most important factor - and whatever the answer to above two questions is, the choice of where can make or break everything.

So you see, if the answer to the above three questions is put together, one can perhaps make out the meaning of a guy touching girl(s). Hope this analysis takes you somewhere close to answer, if you are the one seeking it.

However, without much delay let me add a word of caution, and THIS REALLY IS IMPORTANT: whatever the meaning of a guy touching a girl is, what actually matters is what it means to the girl. And it's really the meaning that the girl derives at that very moment without even going through the analysis I presented above, is what determines the reaction of the girl.

If you are lucky the reaction can be the girl touching you back - in form of a kiss or in form of a slap.

So! There..

I know I am weird…

But thanks for reminding anyway… 

I got tagged by Chandni. Now I have never done a Tag before in my entire history of blogging. One reason for that being the fact that I never got tagged too many times. Though some of my regular and dear readers have tagged me before, I somehow never picked up their tags. I guess I stayed away from tagging for the fact that I feel little awkward being self indulgent.

But this tag was really a tough and challenging one, asking me to come up with 6 weird things about myself. Yeah! it was really very tough to choose only 6 out of so many weird things that I do ;-) Besides this tag is not about self indulgence, but gives me a chance to laugh on myself.

So for this reason I decided to take up this tag (and oblige Chandni)  … ;-) Here you go with 6 most weird things about me:

1) When I am extremely tired, and I badly need lots of sleep… I keep lying on my bed for hours and I am unable to sleep. Perhaps I am too tired even to sleep.

2) While singing a song, I always end up messing up with lyrics. When my sis tries to correct me, i defiantly tell her that I am singing another song, with different lyrics :p
Sometimes this habit also results in some hilarious lyrics being made up, like once when I was singing 'Hero' by enrique and I ended up singing - 'I can be your hero babe, I can piss away the pain'.   :D

3) While trying to concentrate on something, like tightening a nut-bolt, or putting a thread in the needle hole, or even opening the cap of a tightly closed jar - the tip of my tongue automatically comes out between my lips. I think its very weird and funny, but I don’t even realize when my tongue makes way between the lips and shows up ;-)

4) I am extremely bad at remembering names. Unless I specifically make efforts to remember it, chances are that within minutes of shaking hands and exchanging names I'll forget name of the person I shook hands with, and then I am too ashamed of asking the name again.

5) I sometimes pickup a silly word out of no where, and use it so often that the people around me get sick of it. Over the last weekend my pet word was 'hain!', on everything and anything that my friends spoke to me, I responded them with a 'hain!' - I kept doing so till they got frustrated and threatened to bash me up ;-)

6) While reading a magazine I always start from the last page, and continue reading it in that order, up to the first page.
.

…. and one bonus - (7) I am too lazy to pick up 6 people to tag. So anyone who reads this is automatically tagged.

Just Chill

One of the most amazing and creative wars on earth today is the Cola War which is fought in the battlefield of advertising. Every summer Pepsi and Coca Cola come up with new advertising campaigns for their respective array of carbonated drinks available in market and compete fiercely for that grand prize called Market Share. In the process the war sometimes also gets ugly with some below the belt advertising - creating spoofs on rival advertising campaign.

Now, I am no advertising guru, but observing commercials and weighing them on my personal criteria has always been kind of a hobby for me. I have my own personal choice, as a consumer and as a keen observer of advertisements. So here is my countdown on the advertisements of various carbonated drinks being aired this summer. The spoof advertisements have not been considered.

# 10. Pepsi TV
With the amazing star lineup that Pepsi has always enjoyed, the first part of this campaign was an immediate eye catcher. The inimitable SRK along with hotties Kareena and Priyanka created that much needed curiosity about Pepsi TV. But after all the hoopla over pepsi TV, came the second part of the campaign - and it was such a huge disappointment. Pepsi was expected to be more creative and much more witty. But alas, Kareena and Priyanka while describing the concept of Pepsi TV, sound dumb bimbos - and nothing more. Also the kind of loose language used - like Kareena commanding SRK 'Muh khol' and the cable guy asserting 'khula hi to hai' - does not help Pepsi's cause anywhere.
This campaign was built around a loose concept and expectedly sounded too dumb. For the sheer waste of the amazing star power on Pepsi's side, this campaign earns the lowest spot in my rankings. Pepsi people, Yeh Dil Maange More…

# 9. 7 Up – Sabse cool (??)
Ah! Why would any brand want to get disassociated with sizzling hot, sexy and oh! so glamorous Yana Gupta in the first place? and then even if they do, why in the world would they want to replace Yana with Mallika of all the people? Isn't entire country already sick enough of her boobs, and she is asking for more curves? Ah! I know, Yana Gupta is not that visible and popular these days, even though she has some class associated with her. But Mallika, though she is crass (and crasser when she opens her mouth), she also is more 'visible' and is always in news for one reason for another.
Having said that Mallika looks particularly ugly in the advertisement - and even Fido seems to be wanting to get rid of her by converting her into a bottle. Though I wonder how many people would still want to put that bottle on their lips to drink 7up? Yaaakkk!!!

# 8. Mirinda.. oh! oooh!!
Ah! Aaah!! The ad spotting Zayed Khan, tries hard to sound n look cool and all that. But just like his movies, this commercial too does not cut much ice.

# 7. Fanta – Masti ka Chataka
A trying to act naughty Rani Mukherjee also tries to rhyme pathetically. I am still unable to understand what were the creative minds behind this commercial thinking? (..pun much intended)

# 6. Sprite –Clear Hai!
Now sprite is traditionally known for being the spoof experiment lab of Coke. But this time they bring in Indian Tennis sensation Sania Mirza. A very unglamorous and boring campaign to inform people the same old gyan. My verdict – Failure Hai!

# 5. Mountain Due
Continuing on their unusual adventure theme, this year mountain due dudes are feeling lazy. But even their laziness is no less adventurous. Without any star power at their side - they simply stick to their theme and communicate their message.

# 4. ThumsUp
Akshay Kumar literally tastes the thunder this time around. With Brilliant camera work, cool special effects and the ultimate dude of Bollywood - Akshay Kumar, ThumsUp lives up to its macho image. Thumbs-up to ThumsUp.

# 3. Coke - Thande Ka Tadka
Though there is nothing too special with this ad, and rather squeeky voice of Aishwarya does irritate you - the ad still manages to catch attention. Aishwarya looks different and the rhymings isn't all that bad. In the absence of any better ad campaigns this year - Thande Ka Tadka manages to sizzle, but just a bit.

# 2. Coke - Japani Amir
Coke ads featuring Amir have always been a class apart. And even this time Amir succeeds in making the viewers smile with his small performance as a Japanese looking Indian guy. In one word - Effective.

# 1. Limca - Boondon mein
The Limca ad this year is the clear front runner among all the commercials aired this year by soft drink industry. A wonderful jingle, nice choreography and an overall very refreshing look does the trick. Even after the ad is finished, the viewer is likely to find himself humming the ‘boondon mein’ jingle. Even without any celebrity Limca proves to be the coolest one.

Special Mention – Appy fizz
Since my countdown was restricted to the cola war, I could not include Appy Fizz in it. Appy fizz, in my opinion, have come up with most interesting ad campaign this summer. Their ad campaign ‘A cool drink to hang out with’ strikes the chord with the young urban of today very easily. The innovative concept of being friends with the drink, and that too with such coolness immediately catches your attention. My personal favorite.

In the end of this countdown I leave you with some Coca Cola India commercials which were aired in previous years. Enjoy these.

Update: (25th May'06)

Talking of creative advertising, I came across this. And I am still laughing :D
have a look, it's worth it.

.

Technorati Tags : cola war | pepsi | coke | advertising | india