Archive for June, 2006

L.A.U.

June 23, 2006

Life As Usual.
Sine curve.
same ol' Routine.
2003 Kanpur-Delhi Shatabdi Express.
Mom's visit.
yumm Food.
"is there someOne?".
loads of Pampering.
"who is She?"
dusseri Aam.
"there Must be someone!"
a Lonely visit to past.
"let Me choose."
increased Interest in football.
"duh! yoU are impossible."
lots of Work.
2452 Delhi-Kanpur Shramshakti Express.
back to Canteen.
late Nights.
world Cup.
friends to sHare thoughts with.
hiGh expenses.
all time low bank balance.
big plans for a new High.
loW oxygen.
nEw f.r.i.e.n.d.s
packed Bags.
sunScreen.
sleePing bags.
adVenture extraVegenza.
no moBile.
no interNet.
no bloGGing.
a whOle new wOrld to be explored.
expecting pUre delight.
anticipated absolute KadKi*.

………..

…….

See ya all…

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* for the uninitiated 'kadki' is a term which  signifies the state of being penniless. Wait for the formal announcement of "AmitKen Welfare Fund", after I am back. I am counting on generousness of you guys. ;-)

What does it mean when guy touches girls?

June 12, 2006

Now, if you are already wondering what the hell is this crappy-sounding post about? then let me give you some perspective. A knowledge thirsty and curious soul living on this very same earth where you and I exist, asked this question to who-else-but-Google, and Google, among many possible answers threw my blog as one of the search results. As luck would have it, this curious soul actually descended on my blog, looking for the answer. I feel so sorry about the fact that my blog might have disappointed him, for it surely does not answer this important question. So this post is an attempt to try and find the answer to this question, the ultimate truth, which if revealed can shake the very basis of humanity.  (ah! common i added that line just for some effect, a la – Da Vinci Code ;-))

I wonder if even the Almighty had thought of this question and its answer in advance, before he created humans. Perhaps this is how it all how must have happened: When Adam, first touched Eve, she shirked him away saying 'What?', and poor Adam didn't have clue as to what his response should be. So he went back to the Almighty, and asked 'Oh! My lord, please tell me what does it mean when a guy touches a girl.' Almighty, who was sitting on top of white clouds, scratched His head for a while then referred to His notes and when He could not understand His own hand writing, He shook his head and started to answer directly in a philosophizing mode. This event was the first ever Live Telecast in the history of human kind. The Almighty kept talking, and Adam listened and grasped every word of this free flow of knowledge.

Now as Adam was only interested in responding confidently to Eve, after he touches her next, so he just listened carefully and did not care about documenting or recording it. So after Adam answered Eve, and she was as expected satisfied, this invaluable knowledge was lost forever.

I am not sure if you realized that there is one major difference in the question Adam asked to the Almighty and the one asked to Google. Adam specifically asked: 'What Happens when a guy (Adam/singular) touches a girl (Eve/singular)?'. However this time around when this curious soul looked for the answer on Google, he had taken into consideration the fact that complexity of the world has increased manyfolds since the time of Adam & Eve. So he asked: 'what does it mean when guy (singular) touches girls (plural)'. So you see the question this time around is much complex.

Those who have studied E.R. Diagrams at some point of time in their school/college would be able to understand that Adam's question was about a One-to-One relationship, however the question posed to Google was One-to-Many. It could have been even more complex had he asked about a Many-to-Many scenario.

Looking at the complexity level of problem, and the fact that I am no match to the Almighty who has already answered this question once – I'll try to break it up in smaller and simpler questions, and that perhaps can help one reach the conclusion.

We are here talking about one guy, touching several girls, and the meaning each touch has. See! It depends on lot of factors, like – why is the guy touching girls, how is he touching them, and also where is he touching them.

'Why' can have several possible answers: out of love, out of lust, out of disgust, out of curiosity, just like that, experiment.

'How' also have many possibilities – in a pleasant way, in an unpleasant way, in a way that irritates, in a way that tickles etc.

'Where' is the most important factor – and whatever the answer to above two questions is, the choice of where can make or break everything.

So you see, if the answer to the above three questions is put together, one can perhaps make out the meaning of a guy touching girl(s). Hope this analysis takes you somewhere close to answer, if you are the one seeking it.

However, without much delay let me add a word of caution, and THIS REALLY IS IMPORTANT: whatever the meaning of a guy touching a girl is, what actually matters is what it means to the girl. And it's really the meaning that the girl derives at that very moment without even going through the analysis I presented above, is what determines the reaction of the girl.

If you are lucky the reaction can be the girl touching you back – in form of a kiss or in form of a slap.

So! There..

‘Not Winning’ is called ‘Losing’ and not a ‘Draw’

June 7, 2006

Staying awake till 3.30 am for two consecutive days only to see a winnable test match ending up in a draw, is not a good feeling. And you feel even worse when you see that the captain of your team is not sad for not being able to win the match, instead he is busy patting his and his team's back for staging a comeback in the game. Ass.

Lack of strategic leadership and pathetic pace(?) attack of Indian bowlers, is solely responsible for not being able to pull up a victory which was very much there to be grabbed. I am in a highly depressing and cribbing mode, and can blurt out a lot more about last night's loss (yes, i call it a loss – not a draw). But I'd rather encourage you to read Gaurav's blog, as he is feeling the same pain and anguish as I am, and every word on his post echoes my own feelings.

Though I always believe that the playing 11 are to be utilized in best possible way to win the match, and any excuses for some players not being in the team are stupid – but this time I felt that Irfan Pathan and/or Bhajji's experienced presence, however outta form or low on confidence they might be, would have certainly made a difference, specially with a drained out VRV Singh taking ages just to reach his bowling mark and a visibly trembling Shreesanth.  

In continuation with the subject of my last post, the ICC is totally silent on Lara's inappropriate behavior on the ground yesterday. It's only a guess how ICC would have reacted if it was an Indian player who was at fault.

Update : 8th June'06

As I had suspected towards the end of my post, ICC has actually gone ahead and fined Sehwag 20% of match fee for excessive appealing, however Lara remains untouched for his dramatic and unsportsman like behaviour. Siddhartha at Cricinfo has very rightly pointed out the double standards of ICC. This, I suppose is the right time for BCCI to flex it's muscle and stand by the team, but would they?

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Bizarre!!!

June 6, 2006

It's around 2.30 AM in India. I am up watching the 4th days play of 1st Cricket test between India and West Indies, and quiet pleased with the way India are conducting itself – for the first time during the entire tour so far.

151st over of India's second innings in being bowled. Mohammed is the bowler, and Kaif is facing him. First ball, Kaif tucks the ball to take a comfortable single. This brings Dhoni on strike now. Dhoni has already completed his half century in just 47 balls with 4 fours and 3 sixes. He is in devastating mood, and he sends next three balls of Mohammed out of the ropes for massive sixes. Bryan Lara has a look on his face, which is worried but is also acknowledging the sheer power and brilliance of Dhoni's game. Mohammed delivers his next ball, and Dhoni sends even this one packing out of the grounds… but wait the ball just makes it to the ropes and there is Ganga waiting for the ball. He catches the ball cleanly but no one's sure if he touched the rope while doing so. Umpires go to third umpire, and third umpire says he cant help as the replays are inconclusive. The decision needs to be made by the ground umpires. The ground umpires talk to the fielder, the fielding captain and consults third umpire. They just fall short of discussing with the viewers in the ground, and probably conducting a snap SMS poll on the TV.  After ages of discussions ground umpires finally decide to give benefit of doubt to the batsman.

But wait – drama is not over yet. Even as the field umpires indicate Dhoni to continue, Lara who is quiet agitated by this time, walks up to the umpires to protest and asks them to take word of the fielder. More surprise! Umpires who have already taken a decision, easily get influenced and decide to discuss again, with third umpire and with the batsman. (oh! why don't they discuss with viewers, silly!) They are not taking a frikkin decision but trying to reach a compromise… In a while Lara reaches out to the Indian batsmen and perhaps asks them to take fielders' word. It's a stupid drama being played out there, instead of decisions being made, people are trying to persuade one of the parties to give in.
Dravid, who has been watching all the drama from pavillion, and is visibly upset with this, decides to decalre the innings. In a while it also becomes known that Dhoni finally agreed to the pleas of umpires and Lara, and gave his consent for being declared out.

Ha!

Even after the days' play is over, and it's 3.30 am in India, I am not asleep. Today’s  unprecedented event has enlightened me, and shown me the path on which Cricket should go. Two initial thoughts that come to my mind are:

1) Going forward, we should have voting on the field – decisions should be taken in a purely democratic manner.

2) Captains should be given 5 minutes of extra time, every time there is an appeal, to try and influence/persuade the umpires and/or the players of opposing team so as to reach a mutually acceptable decision.

Think about these, Cricket is after all a gentlemen's game.

—–

Update:

Siddharth at CricInfo gives out the exact details.
Pratyush has video clippings of the incident.
Sakshi mentions how Lara crumbled under Dhoni's pressure.
worma @ Cricket 24×7 is pondering between the official and unofficial aspects of the drama.
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I know I am weird…

June 6, 2006

But thanks for reminding anyway… 

I got tagged by Chandni. Now I have never done a Tag before in my entire history of blogging. One reason for that being the fact that I never got tagged too many times. Though some of my regular and dear readers have tagged me before, I somehow never picked up their tags. I guess I stayed away from tagging for the fact that I feel little awkward being self indulgent.

But this tag was really a tough and challenging one, asking me to come up with 6 weird things about myself. Yeah! it was really very tough to choose only 6 out of so many weird things that I do ;-) Besides this tag is not about self indulgence, but gives me a chance to laugh on myself.

So for this reason I decided to take up this tag (and oblige Chandni)  … ;-) Here you go with 6 most weird things about me:

1) When I am extremely tired, and I badly need lots of sleep… I keep lying on my bed for hours and I am unable to sleep. Perhaps I am too tired even to sleep.

2) While singing a song, I always end up messing up with lyrics. When my sis tries to correct me, i defiantly tell her that I am singing another song, with different lyrics :p
Sometimes this habit also results in some hilarious lyrics being made up, like once when I was singing 'Hero' by enrique and I ended up singing – 'I can be your hero babe, I can piss away the pain'.   :D

3) While trying to concentrate on something, like tightening a nut-bolt, or putting a thread in the needle hole, or even opening the cap of a tightly closed jar – the tip of my tongue automatically comes out between my lips. I think its very weird and funny, but I don’t even realize when my tongue makes way between the lips and shows up ;-)

4) I am extremely bad at remembering names. Unless I specifically make efforts to remember it, chances are that within minutes of shaking hands and exchanging names I'll forget name of the person I shook hands with, and then I am too ashamed of asking the name again.

5) I sometimes pickup a silly word out of no where, and use it so often that the people around me get sick of it. Over the last weekend my pet word was 'hain!', on everything and anything that my friends spoke to me, I responded them with a 'hain!' – I kept doing so till they got frustrated and threatened to bash me up ;-)

6) While reading a magazine I always start from the last page, and continue reading it in that order, up to the first page.
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…. and one bonus – (7) I am too lazy to pick up 6 people to tag. So anyone who reads this is automatically tagged.


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